Tag Archives: Tourist trap

Hot Springs Arkansas # 2

I came off the Hot Springs mountain and my knees hurt. Throbbed like immobile crowds.  I ran Dogwood Trail and Peak Trail (took me to the observation tower) and Dead Chief Trail (is that an appropriate name for a running trail? Not sure.) and then I drank 5.4 cups of the fortifying Hot Springs water.

The water flows from spigots all over the city. People gather and fill their hands and mouths and bottles and milk jugs. One greedy dude filled a Gatorade cooler.


Citizens gather to quaff the enjoyable water of naked poetic glow.

Now is time for the statistics/facts like water droplets. Spray the statistics/facts now. Where are the facts/statistics?

What are the Hot Springs? Rainfall 4000 years old, now seeping up from the ground. This made me wonder: wouldn’t it run out? I mean wouldn’t the rain end?

Did you learn any cool words? Yes. Hydro-geological, cathead (a type of biscuit), and empadinhas de palmito (I ate Brazilian in a quest for nachos).

I also learned a phrase: “taking the baths.” For 200 years, people traveled to Hot Springs to “take the baths.” I understood this phrase, since I often “take a run.”

How many springs are on the mountain? 47.

How large was your fancy hotel? Really fucking large. The Arlington is vast and Southern Gothic (luxury mixed with decay) and you might see a chandelier juxtaposed with a falling ceiling plaster, a golden leopard statue with a pile of beer bottles, a deck with two pools, a massive spring-fed hot tub, and then right behind the pool a sign in the woods noting that you are under 24 hour surveillance, while, uh, in the woods…

I met this Cajun guy who visits every year and he told me, “Listen son: Don’t be round the hot tub at night.” Uh, OK.


Big-ass hotel


Creepy sign right behind hot tub area

How hot is the water? 143 degrees Fahrenheit.

Did you go to a horse track and touch a horse statue when said statue clearly said DO NOT TOUCH. Yes, I did. It was great. I played blackjack also but everyone knows bringing a $50 bill to a horse track is bad luck. I had a 50 in my wallet. So.


At that temp, how do you bathe and drink the water? They cool it down first, dumb-ass. My bath was 104 degrees. I was thinking about bathing with corn and veggie hot dogs. Could you exit the bathe and then eat a lunch? I’ve been thinking about corn recently.

Did you eat nachos? What do you think? I’ll blog about Hot Springs nachos later. Jesus.

Did you disc golf? You seem to always disc golf.


Cedar Glades Park Disc Golf Course. Full blog here of the course, for those who give a dern.

What makes the water so special?

(milligrams per liter)

calcium 45, silica 42, magnesium 5, bicarbonate 165, sodium 4, potassium 2, sulfate 8, oxygen 3, carbon dioxide 10.

Did you have your fortune told? Yes. That’s for later. I had my entire fortune told. Wow.